I'm officially crazy, overwhelmed, excited, nervous, anxious, happy... hmmm, that about sums it up. And the reason is, I am officially starting the Master's of Arts in Teaching program at Warner Pacific College on Tuesday night!! I will be 36 weeks pregnant, making the timing a little awkward, but it was now or April of 2009- so I opted for now. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now it's safe to say I'm freaking out just a little bit. Okay, a lot...
It feels like added pressure as to when the baby will be born. Will he or she be early and I have to miss a crucial first class?; How will I nurse and still attend class for 4 hours every Tuesday night? (with Tyson, I was able to take a leave of absence for one 5 week class and he was able to take a bottle by the time I went back- this time, a LOA isn't an option); How will I handle a newborn, 2 other kids, have time for Rick, keep up with the house, homework, AND fit in time for sleep? (AND flying again after the first of the year, but don't get me started on that just yet); Do I even want to be a teacher? (and yes, I still wonder...) I could go on and on about concerns I have, but I also know that God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle and I have the unconditional support of my wonderful husband.
I'm trying to remember that I'm not Super-Woman or Super-Mom, and nobody expects me to be. The perfectionist/Type A personality in me wants to succeed and excel at everything, not let anyone down, balance everything perfectly, say and do the right things, and not let anyone know how stressed out I am, and be the best mom and wife around. I may have to get over some of that... :)
I feel like this past week has been the calm before the storm. It's been a great week with the kids and we've been able to do some really fun things (library story time and the zoo), I've cleaned the house from top to bottom, caught up on the laundry, and the weather is suppose to be great this weekend. Then Sunday, everything changes... Life Group starts up again with every other Sunday meetings, 4 hour classes start on Tuesday, my doctor appointments will be weekly, and we'll be on baby watch for the whole month of October (the due date is late October). I see a lot of prayer and reliance on God, family, and friends in my near future!
Despite all of these crazy thoughts and fears that have been flooding my mind lately, I am truly excited about starting the program. It's the same Adult Degree format it was for my Bachelor's degree. We meet one night a week for 4 hours, over 18 months. I have decided to focus on the Elementary Track (rather than the Secondary), which is K-8th. In January of 2010, I'll be doing my pre-student teaching, followed by the full-time student teaching and then finish in April of 2010 (graduation will be in May). It seems like a long time from now, but I know it will go by so quickly- and Rick pointed out that this baby will basically be Tyson's age by then (18 months)!
So, I'm ready to hold on tight to the roller coaster ride my life is about to become and hope for the best! In the meantime, I'm going to nurse this silly cold I've caught, rest as much as possible, and try and fit in a few "me-time" things (like a pedicure or girly movie) while I still can. And I'm sure I'll still find a few more things to worry and stress about... knowing that in the end, they'll all turn out just fine!