Thursday, November 20, 2008

Mommy guilt

Do you ever get the feeling there is so much going on in your life, that everything is suffering and nothing is getting your full attention? I'm totally feeling that right about now!

My poor husband is being neglected and being a complete saint by picking up all the slack around the house and dealing with me nagging when I should be saying "Thank you!". Riley and Tyson have gotten so used having Rick around that they barely want anything to do with me- okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little about that one. My homework is definitely sitting at the bottom of the priority list, which is sad because it's a lesson planning class and totally important for my Master's. The house is only staying as clean as it is because Rick is here to help. I'm behind on my Thank You cards and haven't even ordered Cooper's baby announcements yet- and he's almost 3 weeks old. Yesterday we gave Cooper his first official bath and forgot, yes forgot, to take any pictures of it!! (Which actually made me cry in my emotional state) Riley and Tyson have first bath pictures, but not Cooper. Do you think he'll notice if we take some of his second bath and try and pass them off as first bath pictures? :)

Forget phone calls to family and friends, that is nearly impossible to find time for. I'm even finding time to neglect myself... I'm on the every-other-day plan for showers and I actually went about 36 hours this week wearing the same pajamas. I think Rick is wondering what happened to his wife and when she was replaced with some frumpy lady who doesn't shower or put on clean clothes. Sadly enough, I'm using the precious time I do have right now to write a pity-party blog entry about my Mommy guilt when I probably should be sleeping or something.

The only one getting my full and complete attention these days- outside of the lack of pictures thing- is Cooper. He and I are new BFF's. We go everywhere together- running errands, attending my college classes, and even going on a date night with Rick and I to see "Fireproof" (good movie by the way, I would totally recommend it!). He and I get a ton of quality time together, which I am very thankful for. I ended up with mastitis a week after Cooper was born and his weight gain wasn't on track at his two week check-up last Friday, but otherwise we're doing pretty well. We have an weigh-in appointment tomorrow and hopefully he's back on track after a great week of eating- a lot of eating.

I know things will slowly get better and easier and more balanced, but in the meantime I'm struggling a little with all of it. It does get better, right? :)


Jill Hoffmaster said...

NewsFlash Brooke, you're not superwoman. Ha! Despite the stress, it sounds like everything is going great. Forget about the stuff that isn't getting done, it can wait! Just take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Try to enjoy the craziness of it all!(easier said than done, right!)

The Donald said...

Just a memo to you Brooke. This is completely normal. Having 3 kids in the house (Well, we have 4, since Lisa likes to count me as one of them...sometimes) is a BIG change. I think it took us about 3 months before things started to fall into place again. So don't worry too much about it. Sooner or later you will get the routine down, and you will look back on this and wonder why you were ever worried about it.

BTW, I like the new background.

Lisa Joy said...

You're putting too much pressure on yourself, my dear! You are doing awesome! Heck, I was in the same state as you when it was just ONE baby to take care of! For now, enjoy all this time with Cooper. Don't feel guilty that Rick is there to help--it's his job, too! I'm sure he loves all the 1-on-1 time with the kids...the housework can wait. (Oh, on the PJ issue--that's why I always give jammies as baby shower gifts...Lord knows how much TIME we spend in them! Might as well be cute ones!) :-) When I had a newborn, if I got a shower & did a load of laundry & MAYBE made dinner, that was a huge accomplishment!